Thanks for the Memories
by jhoom
Summary: After the Omega 4 Relay, Garrus realizes that maybe having a relationship with Shepard isn't such a good idea. Masskink meme fill. M for mild citrus.


**Thanks for the Memories**

Shepard had always cared about Garrus. From the moment they met on the Citadel, she felt a connection to the C-Sec officer and his almost naïve and romanticized look at hunting criminals. It was endearing, really. If someone asked, she'd never be able to pick out the exact moment that it had shifted from friendship to attraction. It was a gradual thing, probably starting back on the SR1. It had managed to survive her death and subsequent resurrection, and grew into something more tangible after she saved him on Omega.

It would take a while for her to realize it herself, that she actually was romantically interested in her turian friend. And she was pretty sure that this fact had eluded her so long only because he _was_ turian.

But when it finally hit her, it hit her hard.

She was equally surprised and pleased that he had agreed to blow off steam with her. It gave her something to look forward to even in the midst of all this crap with the Collectors and Reapers. And when they were in the base, fighting for their lives and the lives of their crewmates, it gave her a reason to want to make it back.

* * *

><p>To say their first time was awkward would be a bit of an understatement. They had a general idea of where things went, but the specifics of Human-Turian mating were a little beyond their comfort zones. But it had been fun, in a way, to explore it with the Commander. To learn the landscape of her body while she reveled in his. It wasn't the fast, passionate way turians had sex, but it was satisfying nonetheless.<p>

He'd been flattered when Shepard had approached him. Sure, he felt awkward as hell about it, but this was _Commander Shepard_. That's not a woman you say no to. Even if he didn't care about her, even if she wasn't the only person left in the galaxy he actually trusted and respected, he wouldn't have been able to resist.

Of course, he'd only counted on it happening once.

His life was stressful. All of their lives were. Mercs here, raging Krogan there, Collectors on one side, Reapers on the other. It took a lot out of you. Slowly wore you down. Sleeping with the Commander right before hitting the Collector Base was just what he needed. What they both needed. Work off some excess energy before risking their lives for the fate of the galaxy. Again.

He would never have done it if he thought it would go past that one night.

Garrus was sure that was something they could both agree on. Just a little romp in the hay between friends. The fact that they were best friends should have made it less complicated. Neither of them would expect anything more to happen after that. Who would start a relationship on the eve of a suicide mission, anyway?

But his plans for a one night stand had gone out the window when Shepard had almost died. As she jumped towards the ship, that desperately determined look in her eyes, floated in the void, he felt something stir inside him. He didn't know what he'd do if he lost her again.

He'd thought the first time would be enough. Turns out he needed one more.

After her "talk" with the Illusive Man, he'd more or less ambushed her in her quarters.

It was much better this time. He almost was able to mimic human kissing. He managed not to rip any of her clothes as he tore them off her. He only broke her skin when he meant to. And, Spirits, did he mean to.

Her legs were wrapped around his narrow waist, her hands working hard to pull off the top of his body suit. One taloned hand was on her back, the other weaving into her hair.

He was so distracted by her hands exploring his chest – something no turian woman had ever bothered to do – that he'd tripped on her boots, sending them both falling onto her bed. Shepard chuckled lightly into his neck before pulling him closer and kissing him again.

Garrus only pulled away to take off his pants, then crawled back on top of her, desperate to prove to himself that Shepard was in fact still alive. And at least right now, she was his.

She moaned as he entered, just slow enough to keep from hurting her. With each long, tantalizing stroke his efforts were greeted by more moans and cries from his partner, his temporary mate. They were both clutching desperately at the bed sheets. They were sweating, their groans rising over the sound of hard plates hitting soft flesh. He tried not to think of how easy it'd be to get used to this.

He loved the way she bucked to meet him, the way her body was so yielding to his dominance. And he definitely loved the way she screamed his name as she came, squeezing him with her legs and her body clenching impossibly around his cock. He couldn't help the strangled growl as he finished. He held her close against his chest in the aftershocks of his euphoria, then slowly forced himself away.

"Thank you, Commander," he breathed out, stretching out on his back. All the tension from the mission was gone. All his distress at almost losing his Commander had melted away. He ignored the nagging suspicion that what they had just done was more love making than fucking.

"Thank you?" She had turned to face him, resting on her elbow. She didn't know what to make of that, both amusement and confusion were evident in her features.

"That was-" _Amazing. Perfect. The best sex I've ever had._ "- just what I needed."

To have been with her (and twice, at that) was enough. Serving under her was enough. To protect her while she protected billions more. That's what he was there for. He knew better than to want more. Whenever he had hoped for more, it had always blown up in his face. Sometimes literally.

On a ship, relationships beyond sex didn't end well. And he'd seen enough of humans to know that sooner or later, whatever this was would move beyond sex given time. He wasn't going to be Shepard's distraction. He'd just have to end it before that happened. Before either of them got invested.

So Garrus smiled his best turian smile as he got up and looked for his clothes. Turned his back on her. Didn't see the pained look on her face. Not even a parting glance before he walked out.

_Yes,_ he thought as he waited for the elevator. _Twice with Commander Shepard was more than enough._

* * *

><p>"<em>Thank you Commander. That was just what I needed."<em>

Her heart waited just long enough for him to put on his clothes and leave before it broke.

She wasn't sure how she felt beyond that. Hurt that he'd used her like that? Maybe. Devastated that what she thought was something special turned out to be nothing more than a quick fuck? Maybe. But utterly-heartbroken? Without a doubt.

In over ten years of service, after running with a gang on Earth, in all her dealings with Cerberus, she'd never felt more used or betrayed than she did right now.

Shepard wasn't sure what to think. But there was one thing she was damn sure of. She wasn't going to invite Garrus Vakarian to her quarters ever again.


End file.
